Self Care

How not to doubt yourself?

I have been struggling for a while with trying to figure out who I am, what I want, what my propose is, what am I passionate about … and even thought I have made a lot of progress, I still have a lot of work to do!

Throughout the process I have come to find very useful tools to help me trust my own voice above everyone else’s. One of the most important things I heard on a Podcast is how you choose to talk to yourself; Natalie Bacon mentions to be your inner coach instead of your inner critic. And I think that is something a lot of people don’t realize we can change. 

I have this default inner voice that is super harsh with me, tells me I am crazy for thinking that way, or wanting that. It tells me ‘who do you think you are?’ And a LOT more very negative things and I think that everyone has the same inner critic. Where it comes from? I do not know, maybe from things that someone told me at one point, or knowing there are people on a similar situation that have failed at what I am trying to do… it really doesn’t matter where It comes from; what is important is that you can CHOOSE not to listen to that voice. 

The funny thing is that if is “me” who believes all this things, how come I can hear it? Who the hell is the voice I am listening to? And worse, that I trust more than what I know? 

So, one of the most important tools to implement, in my opinion, is to stop listening to that voice and realize you can choose what your inner dialog is.

One example is with my weight. In the last few years I went from being overweight and very unhappy with my body to a hot damn I look good and within the last 7 months that has changed a little, because of choosing to prioritize other issues instead of concentrating on loosing weight I have gain 10 lbs. And yes you look at that number and say 10lbs is nothing, you can loose it any time, you are concentrating on being healthy and concentrating on other parts of my body but I can’t help to feel bad when I look in the mirror. 

And is so easy to listen to the critic saying:

“How could you let yourself go?”

“Look at you, you have gained weight again!”

“Who do you think you are trying to fit into those pants?”

“You’ve gained 10 lbs, be my guest eat the whole fridge, it doesn’t matter now, you have let your self go”

The hard part is to be gentle with yourself, treat yourself like you would treat other, or think if it was your kid saying those things, what would you say to them? 

So work on being your inner coach, work on being nice to you, work on having the conversations you would have with your child.. When those thoughts come up, stop, breathe and shift them, try something like:

“Your weight has changed again because you are working on being healthy and prioritizing other issues, you’ll be back to a comfortable weight soon”

“Yes it is hard to maintain your goal weight, and there are ups and downs, keep on doing what you are doing and concentrate on what’s important now”

“Look at you with those pants, your partner will like that”

“You’ve got this, weight right now is not the most important thing, concentrate on being healthy, do not think everything is lost” 

It is sooo hard to make that change, it is hard to modify something you have been doing for a very long time, it sounds like a cliche but it actually has helped me a lot. 

Hope it helps you, and if you need to talk … I am here

Sole