It took me a really long time to change from considering me having a routine something I “ had ” to do and start considering something I “ wanted to do ” and it took a while for me to do it because I didn’t understand the reasoning people thrived with a routine!
Now a days, this is a conversation that I have with a lot of my clients and that I have found once they understand how a routine when they switch from a chain mentality, they are not only able to maintain a routine more easily, but they start really enjoy having them.
So… let’s talk about potential reasons why you HATE to have a routine, and I will start from my own personal experience.
I grew up in a household that organization was a MUST, and making sure that things happened at a certain time and in a certain order was appreciated so from a young age I knew that after we did thing A came thing B.
For those who didn’t have a house like that, you could’ve encountered that the monotony created at School made you have the same feelings towards routine. Or you could have picked up that apprehension towards it in collage where you had to schedule your own classes and/or making sure that things had a certain order so you could work and study.
I am not here to see exactly when or how you didn’t like having a routine but how you started resisting them…
I have found that most people can handle a routine the same amount of time they can handle a diet… around week 3 your start missing something here and there, or allotting more time than the one you have planned for for a certain task, falling behind on your schedule and throwing it out the window.
And once you miss once… missing twice is real easy and there you go again … you have created a habit of not sticking to a routine because “ it does’t suit you ” or “ you are just not made for it ” or even “ I am not the kind of person that could maintain a routine ”
” Once you associate your identity with something is really hard to change that “
– Atomic Habits
But do not worry! That is WHY you are reading this, and why you are willing to give routine a second chance…
Let’s talk about the main difference here that has helped most of my clients (my self included) and they are:
1- NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO HAVE A ROUTINE!
Yes you heard me, one of the things we like most about being adults is than we can make our own choices, I mean… as far as I understand I didn’t see anyone twisting your arm to buy that shirt, or to choose to eat that cookie or to get that second glass of wine! If you did have someone do that, we will have to talk in a whooooole different level 😀
But coming back to my point, you are not under the command of someone else to create that routing, you have the PRIVILEGE you wanted to have your whole childhood … I can do whatever I want!!! And that means … you CAN create a routine that works for you.
2 – YOUR ROUTINE DOENS’T HAVE TO BE A STRICT ONE
This is where most people get confused and I will try to explain it as much as I can, but if you need help setting up a routine you can always contact me and we can work on it together.
Some people will be ok with having a more strict routine, for example:
| 7:30 AM | MEDITATION |
| 7:45 AM | JOURNALING |
| 8 AM | WORK OUT |
| 8:30 AM | SHOWER / BREAKFAST |
| 9 AM | WORK |
| 12:30 PM | LUNCH BREAK |
| 1 PM | WORK |
| 5 PM | PICK UP KIDS FROM SCHOOL |
| 5:30 PM | VARIOUS SPORTS |
| 7:30 PM | DINNER |
| 8 PM | BATH TIME |
| 8:30 PM | BEDTIME |
| 8:45 PM | CLEAN UP TIME |
| 9 PM | TV – BOOK |
| 10 PM | BED TIME |
Yes that is a lot! But some people do really like knowing what is expected of them for the whole day, if you are reading this chances are you started having some anxiety reading this routine and already started thinking… oh well this is not going to work! And here is where I come in!!
That doesn’t have to be your life!! You can simplify your routine AS much as you want!
You can have something like this:
| AM – 15 MIN MEDITATION |
| AM – 15 MIN JOURNALING |
| AM – 30 MIN WORKOUT |
| PM – 30 MIN LUNCH BREAK |
| PM – 30 MIN COOKING DINNER |
| PM – 15 MIN CLEANING UP |
| PM – 60 MIN “ME TIME” BEFORE BED |
Or even something like this:
I will meditate in the morning
After meditating I will journal and work out
I will take 30 min to have lunch
I’ll cook/reheat/order dinner when I get home
I will clean up after dinner
I’ll have some adult time before going to bed
You see what I did there?? I created some a routine that is mostly about what habit I want to do after what activity than follow a routine!
3 – IT DOESN’T MATTER AS LONG AS IT WORKS FOR YOU
This is the magical part! Once you realize that you are able to create the routine the way you wanted and that as long as you are doing thing A after thing B everything is ok is when your life will get FREED by your routine!
I now KNOW that after I meditate I will journal and work out!
I now KNOW my kitchen and house will be organize because I am allowing 15 min after dinner to do that
I now KNOW that I will have time to myself at the end of the day
And I now KNOW that I will get to do what I have to do in a daily basis because I have allowed myself to start a CHAIN of events that no matter what life throws at me I will follow
I am FREE!!
I don’t have to spend time thinking:
“ when would I fit my workout? ”
“ the kitchen is a mess, I have to clean it! ”
“ I wonder if I would have time to watch some tv or read my book ”
“ ughh I have to do so many things tomorrow I am not sure I’ll have time to eat lunch ”
And here you have it… When we start thinking knowing after thing A comes thing B it releases SO much and energy thinking and allowing more time to do the huge TO DO list you have to accomplish and creates a sense of bliss on your day!
So.. to recap!! You are UNIQUE therefore your routine is whatever fits you and your lifestyle!
So here are some tips to help you create a routine that works for you:
1 – Make a list of all the things you would like to accomplish on a day
2 – Underline the ones that you consider a MUST
3 – Organize what task should go after which task
4 – Figure out if you are ok with giving yourself some time frames for it – is totally ok if you don’t
5 – Concentrate on your musts FIRST and only after you have masted those for at least 4-5 weeks you can add some more task to your day
And the most important one of all! Let me know how your new freedom is treating you!
Sole