In this day and age setting goals starts at a very early age, you are born and immediately your parents are trying to reach to the next goal; hold your gaze, lift your head, turn on your back, crawl, talk, walk, potty training… etc. And the moment you conquer one, you are already force to start working on the next one.
When you start school, the goal setting keeps on going. Heck when I was in school getting into college was the goal, now a days I have friends with older kids that are already taking college classes at 15/16 years old and they have been preparing for collage for years and some jobs required masters and even PHDs… things are getting harder and harder in the goal setting society we have. And it seems that reaching goals is all you do in life. With that being said, I am sooo tired of setting goals.
I have become addicted to goal setting, and if you read it on paper is not a bad addiction to have, the problem comes when you start working on a goal before you finish reaching the one you have been working on, and don’t even take a moment to breathe and celebrate the amazing thing you just accomplished. And a friend pointed out that it seems like I get depressed after I set a goal. Like if I don’t have that anymore I do not know what to do with myself. And that is sad, not trying to get sympathy, but being honest. And sometimes honesty can be a little harsh to swallow.
And there is nothing wrong with setting goals, in fact, they have help me stay focus and overcome situations faster than I would have without trying to reach that goal. And in the past few months I have been working really hard on celebrate myself when I do reach those goals. And take a minute to enjoy it.
I think that is also some social taboo on celebrating personal goals and bragging about what you have accomplish, especially being a woman. And/or a social pre determination that we need to settle at some point, or at least there was until a few years ago.
Thankfully now, someone that wants to change a career, or leaves a marriage that is not the right one, even if that means changing that family looks like for your child.
Trying to find happiness and fulfillment has been lately something that women have been trying to do. And has become accepted by society that is ok to be a single mom, is ok to want to continue growing with your career, or change it completely. And is important that we celebrate ourselves in the process. And tying it back to being your inner coach ( you can see my previous pos for more details), celebrate everything that you have done. Take the moment to say “I did it!” Or take yourself out for a celebratory date, is ok to want to hang out with friends or like minded people that will understand what you are doing and will celebrate with you. But I found that is more important, for me at least, to look at the mirror and say “Damn that was hard, and you did it” without looking for others approval.
So with that being said, as a person that is trying to figure out her next chapter, here are some of my achievements in the last decade:
- Moved to a different country alone with $200 in my pocket
- Had a beautiful baby girl
- Decided to become a single mom
- Created a life that maintains me and my daughter without jeopardizing time with her
- Bought a house
- Bought a truck
- Created the childhood I envisioned for my daughter
- Lost a bunch of weight
- Found a job that allows me to have time with my friends and family
It was really hard at some points, really hard, but I did it! And yes I have some help, thankfully I have friends that have become family, but I WAS THE ONE THAT DID IT! I showed up, worked hard, fell and pick myself back up…
I will continue working on my addition, not trying to avoid setting goals, but learning that is ok to take a moment in between, hold still in your life progress, and enjoy what you have accomplished.
Hope you do the same…
Love,
Sole